When it comes to relationships, feeling loved and valued is crucial. Nobody wants to feel like they’re being used or taken for granted. However, it’s not just about finding someone who loves you, but also someone who respects and cherishes you for who you are, yet this is no easy feat in this world of users.
We all do not want to be lied to or deceived. Now if only the world was that easy and people say what they mean, relationships would be way, way easier to deal with. Unfortunately, it’s not always the case. Sometimes people just try to use others and you have to protect yourself from being used.
The Love Shadow will be sharing with you how to know you are being played in a relationship.
10 signs you are being played in a relationship
#1. Your happiness is not a priority:
Now while it’s important to understand that nobody can really make you happy if you’ve not found happiness in self-love all on your own, it is healthy to expect our partners to care for your happiness. A partner who’s in love with you will try to make you happy as much as he/she can.
However, if they have the power to do so and they don’t, then you’re with someone who doesn’t care and you’re probably being played in that relationship.
#2. They do not try to spend time with you:
The truth is when we are in love, it’s only natural that we will desire to be in each other’s company 24/7, however, that doesn’t mean that we spend every waking hour with each other, because of course we all have lives outside of our relationships, but it means that we will make a deliberate effort to spend time with each other.
Now, if you’re in a relationship where this is not happening, it’s time to ask yourself some serious and honest questions.
When there are key days and key times, they’re seemingly unavailable with their phones deliberately switched off or unattainable, no matter what you do or think of him/her, it’s a Big Red flag.
#3. They prefer to keep the relationship a secret:
Now there’s something about being in love that will make you want to shout it from the rooftop. Being in love makes you so happy and this happiness will radiate, that you’ll even want to let people around you share in your joy.
Now if you and your partner have both decided to be together and be exclusive then there’s no reason why the relationship should be kept a secret. A relationship that is kept secret is suspicious and a serious red flag.
Of course, there may be a few instances where we can make exceptions, but largely, no relationship should be kept secret and if your partner is too keen on having that, look into it!
#4. Inconsistent stories:
Now, if you’re being played in a relationship, one of the most obvious signs is that their stories will be grossly inconsistent. Some people are professional liars, so they’re better at it, but if you’re observant, you will observe that their words and their lives do not tally. Take your time to see how they do not add up and be able to quickly tell the lies apart. It’s advisable to be on your way when you realize that the relationship is not ready to offer you everything that you hoped for.
#5. You do not see yourself in their plans:
When someone loves you and they’re in a serious relationship with you, they will see you in their future and plan their future with you in mind.
If you cannot see yourself at all in the plans of your partner, then it either means that they’re not sure of your place in their life or they consider you may be temporary or you’re being played.
#6. You’re always the one sacrificing and compromising:
So it takes two to tango, as a serious relationship requires effort from both of you. You should not be the only one making sacrifices and making compromises when it comes to your relationship if your partner is not reciprocating the sacrifices and also making compromises then it means they’re not investing themselves enough in the relationship, and that could really be interpreted to mean that you’re being played.
The truth is, when you truly love someone, sacrifice comes naturally.
#7. They’re only nice when they need something.
This is something that happens a lot in toxic relationships.
A player only cares to be nice when they want something from you otherwise they don’t bother to stress themselves when they don’t consider it a necessity.
It is true that a healthy relationship is not all about receiving as there’s a lot of giving that takes place as well.
Now, if you are only giving and not receiving, then you should consider that you’re being played in the relationship. Relationships are a two-way street and anyone who doesn’t understand this basic principle shouldn’t be in a relationship in the first place. It’s absolutely unhealthy for one partner to always be the one doling out money, doling out time, and investing their emotions, while the other just lays there and waits for things to happen.
#8. You’re in doubt of your place in their life.
If you’re not sure where you fit in someone’s life, it’s a huge indicator to you that probably you don’t amount to much when it comes to them. Sometimes it could even mean or require having an honest conversation about it.
Maybe they’re not broaching the subject because they don’t know how you feel about them as well. However, if that is not the case, then you really are being played or you’re just a temporal person in their life.
A conversation will let you know for sure where you stand, so you must have it. If they however dismiss such serious conversation and never make time for it, then something is definitely not right.
#9. Your instincts are sending you red flag signals:
It is true that our instincts are very powerful irrespective of gender, so when we have a gut feeling that is largely accurate, it is important to listen to it.
It doesn’t mean that you immediately remove yourself from the situation, but that you should at least pay more attention.
Investigate why you’re feeling the uncertainty and discomfort in your gut half of the time when you start to think about it. It might be true.
#10. Your family and friends don’t like this person you’re dating.
It is true that sometimes we’re consumed with our feelings that we cannot see what others clearly see. There’s a chance that one or two members of your family or group of friends won’t like your partner out of self-interest, but when the majority of them don’t, it’s not by accident.
The truth is, everybody cannot be wrong about someone.
Now, your family and friends are people that have been in your life and cared about you for a longer time, so it is important that at least you know consider what they’re saying and consider their opinion.
Chances are that they’re right and they’re seeing certain things that you immediately cannot see.
You might ask Why?
It’s simply because you are blinded by love.
Well, hopefully, these tips help to let you know if you’re being played in a relationship. If they do, feel free to leave a comment.