Simple enough: a lot of persons are so keen to experience the ideal way of loving someone that we compare our circumstances and emotional values to those of people around us who appear to be at the top of their game when it comes to relationships and uses their interpersonal interactions to establish benchmarks to understand commitment, loyalty, passion, and intimacy. We believe a lot of persons are currently flexing on it, especially based on information we derive through our media.
Unequivocally speaking, why is it that when we genuinely love someone, we frequently believe we can change them? that they are redeemable? that we have the power to transform them into the person they ought to be, the person we deserve, or, better yet, the person we ought to be with?
Maybe it’s because we’ve become so fixated on the idea of love— a promise of a lifetime free of hassles and drama. Sadly, this eldorado way of what loving someone means has now entailed us meeting people and then subconsciously attempting to categorize them, with the goal to mold them into the partners, friends, or enemies we’re destined to have, depending in large part on our vested interest in the type of relationship we desire. We even attempt to hold them to standards that are too high and too precise to be realistic.
We are all naturally drawn to love, but as we got older, and enter into relationships of all sorts, we seem to have lost this fundamental truth.
Can we make everyone love us?
The truth is, you can’t make everyone love you. Love is not forced, it cannot be controlled, and most importantly, you cannot manipulate someone into loving you back, that in itself is deceit! You might be successful at first, but it’s bound to fail. You can only nurture love if it’s present or there’s room for it.
Love Shadows
See, the thing about love and loving someone is that it’s inherent. Even as children, we didn’t need to be taught how to love—we just did. We yearned for love and care, wanting closeness and craving connection.
Why is finding love hard?
Finding love shouldn’t require we change who we are. Many have lost sight of the fact that love should be organic, whether it is developed gradually or comes in a rush. The fact remains that there are no deadlines, rules, guidelines, dos’ and ‘don’ts that are 100% applicable to love.
Remember that life itself is a struggle but your relationship shouldn’t be one! It’s important, that you do your part every single day to make things work because there is no genuine feeling of peace like when you sincerely love someone and they reciprocate your feelings that in itself is a damn all the medicine you might need to live another day and an assurance that you both can weather through any storm that might intend to hit your relationship.