Most of us have probably experienced heartbreak or not getting who we wanted or believed we would at some point in our lives.
In the process of trying to save that particular relationship, or situationship, as the case may be, you would have by now realized that you could have lost yourself completely trying to keep that relationship going, and if you are among the very unlucky, things might have even gotten so terrible that whoever you were in a relationship with, started treating you poorly.
In any toxic relationship, various forms of abuse manifest themselves, ranging from emotional abuse to financial abuse to physical assault. It’s important to remember that until you make the decision to end that toxic relationship, there isn’t much anyone can say or do to help you because you’ll constantly be hoping for the best and thinking that everything will work out if you just stick it out and stay a little longer while holding on for as long as you can.
Does It ever get better in a loveless relationship?
Regrettably, it rarely happens. It may reach the point that even the very minimum of expecting compassion or attention from your partner is unrequited.
How Can You Move On From Someone You Love?
One of the most unpleasant things you can experience is being in a position where you have to fight to be loved and cherished. Giving someone all of your love and then learning that they don’t feel the same way or that you’re not their type could leave you heartbroken or, worse, depressed.
Here are a few recommendations to help you get started on the road to complete recovery and true release from the recent heartbreak you’ve been through;
#1. Evaluate the relationship’s impact on you:
Taking a good look at the relationship that you just successfully came out of and thinking deeply about how it has impacted you emotionally, financially, spiritually, and personally, as a human is extremely helpful.
Only then would you start to question if it had been worthwhile after considering how it had impacted your other relationships and possibly even distanced you from your friends and family who cared about you.
Upon taking an honest look at the sacrifice you had made, how long you had persevered, and how bad the relationship was for your mental health. You would realize that it is indeed a good step that you’re stepping away from such toxicity and finding peace in this new space and new environment.
#2. Cut all communication
When you recognize how unhealthy that particular relationship was for you, it’s crucial that you stop communicating with that individual in any way.
This is significant because you need to give your heart, mind, and soul some time to evolve. You require space and time to heal at that point in your life.
If you’re constantly in this person’s space or still trying to reach out to them and getting ignored perhaps constantly looking at their posts on social media and how happy they are, especially when they’ve moved on with other people. All of the aforementioned would bring back the pain you had when they left, which would cause you to breakdown. Therefore, you will need to stop communicating in order to heal properly and recover from heartbreak and betrayal.
It is true that things will probably be more difficult if you have kids because you’ll need to figure out how to keep in touch with the kids, especially if your partner has custody of them. You may also need to maintain a cordial platonic relationship with your ex-partner for their sake.
Kids complicate situations, but if you have older kids, it’s simpler for you to cut off communication and walk away. Cutting all ties might require you to delete their number, don’t hesitate to do so. If it also requires you to block them on WhatsApp and social media, do so.
Simply take it upon yourself to do whatever is necessary to sever relationships and cease communicating in order to give your heart and mind the much-needed downtime.
#3• Focus on yourself
Now that you’ve cut all communication, now it’s time to focus. Never feel that you can’t survive alone. You can! You might be wondering how you’re going to accomplish this and what must you do?
First off, start by re-establishing all the previous connections that used to make you feel good. It might involve reestablishing friendships with the family and all the people you were previously forbidden from speaking to or seeing; attempt reaching out to them or at the very least, consider how you can.
Our anxieties restrict us. We constantly think we are powerless. You cannot imagine what you’ll start to do, though, once you start to understand that it is possible to liberate yourself from the bonds of everything that is holding you back. Think about how you can develop into a better version of yourself and how you can begin to move your mental mountains.
Consider your next course of action. Where do you go from here? Where do you want to be this time next year or in two years? How are you going to get there? What must you do? What additional knowledge or new things do you need to learn to get to that position? That’s the kind of mindset you would want to have.
#4. Distract yourself now while you focus on yourself
Indeed, it can also be hard to just remain in your quiet space and sometimes alone with your thoughts. These thoughts likely wander back to this person that just left you, to this same person that you loved and did not love you back or no longer wants to be in a relationship with you. Therefore, you must find a way to divert your attention. This could be done by engaging in old interests or discovering brand-new ones. You could discover fascinating and inspiring books to read, meet new people, or even participate in a variety of extracurricular activities.
These diversionary activities will help you in maintaining your mind off the negative ideas that keep returning to you to make you feel inadequate without that partner in your life.
So, find a good distraction, whatever your distraction may be, and engross yourself in that activity.
#5. Take your time before entering new relationships
Many people frequently attempt to establish friendships or ties with strangers or even those who have hurt them deeply after an heartbreak. This is not healthy and it’s not acceptable to settle for friendship when your heart has just been crushed or still is, at least not right away. When these people leave you, they frequently attempt to give you friendship in return, so you need to be able to unplug and not just accept any forced friendship.
Here’s a question, you should ask yourself “if I’m not good enough to be the love of your life, Why do you need me to be a friend?
You are within your rights to decide to not accept being friendships and completely disconnect yourself from them as it is never ideal to accept friendship as a consolation prize at least not immediately.
Make a request for some privacy, and if you feel you have moved on from this person over the years and you believe you have fully healed, you can return to develop a cordial friendship. However, you should never initiate this friendship.
One key reason The LoveShadow warns against accepting friendship when it is offered is that doing so will just make your suffering worse since you will have to watch them fall in love with other people while secretly wishing that you had been the one who was chosen. Nothing about this is healthy for your mind or your heart.
#6. Repurpose and rebuild.
Your heart’s suffering can be transformed into joy, which will lead to contentment. Remember that it’s alright to start over and refocus your life on what matters most.
Give yourself time and try to build your life one brick after the other. Remember, some people in their 40s started again, 50s started again, 60s started again, and even 70-year-olds who have turned their lives around.
The majority of people believe they cannot survive without the person they love. This is a lie and you’re capable of doing well without them. The truth is that even though this heartbreak might hurt for a few days, weeks, or even years, you’ll eventually look back at the relationship you shared and realize that they did you a favor by leaving.
Rebuild your damaged friendships, your inner self, and your self-confidence. Become a better version of yourself, and take out time to read books as you are likely to draw inspiration from other people who are doing better than you.
Join communities of people who’ve been down your road, and share your story for other people to hear and learn from it. You can completely turn this experience around to your benefit. It’s encourage you do not take that for granted.
You may not realize it now, but there is a reason you went through what you went through, so best belief that within X number of years down the line you’ll be looking back at yourself and saying wow; “I needed to go through this to enable myself grow because if that didn’t happen I would be trapped settling in a relationship that was one-sided.”
Finally, if none of these suggestions work, please seek professional advice and consult a therapist. There are many kind people who can provide you with professional counseling sessions that can put you on the path to truly rebuilding your life and finding love once more.