Gaining access to someone’s love or having anyone fall in love with you is not an easy achievement, and should be considered a luxury.
It is a known fact that all love-fueled relationship requires the need for cultivated attention and dedicated energy to be invested in them, to genuinely blossom lest they get lost.
Six (6) ways we make our partners fall out of love with us:
Maintaining the perfectionist stance:
In relationships, one of our biggest failings can stem from the odd standards and expectations we put on it which includes expecting our partner to be flawless when, in reality, there can only be perfection in their flaws. Today, many of us have become overbearing, especially when we are or start to be the leading contributor in the relationship. We suddenly start to crave more from our partner while undervaluing what he or she has been bringing to the table all along. Better yet, we start to believe we deserve better! This in itself is not bad, but why rub it in their faces that we are better off than they are and that choosing to stay with them should be considered a favor from us? This only proves that we have regrettably lost the plot and potentially our partner as well.
Lacking in the art of giving:
To truly be in love, we must realize the need to enjoy giving or better still, learn to give. The truth is, one doesn’t necessarily have to break the bank to make your partner happy; sometimes it’s as simple as giving up our time to show up for something important to them, sacrificing our numerous wants in order to meet their needs, giving them gifts not just on special occasions but very often just to let them know they are always on our minds, and, most importantly, giving our hearts to their dreams and our ears to their thoughts.
Not Big On Respect:
Being disrespectful, specifically when we disregard our partner’s needs or expect they will always be there for us, can easily cause our spouses to stop loving us. No one should ever be made to feel disregarded, undeserving, or unwanted, and these feelings are all the result of disrespecting our spouse and weakening what the relationship means to either of you personally.
Laxity from over-familiarity:
Many of us have become extremely comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship that we forget to put in the work and sacrifice, only looking forward to the lovey-dovey moments. This systematically tunes out our partner from genuinely loving us, as eventually, they catch on to the user energy we have been injecting into the relationship by only making an effort when we are in need of some affection.
Lack of Assurance Through Indecisiveness:
Partners often want someone who is a goal-getter in all circumstances and makes smart decisions. Women, in particular, are highly picky about the people they want to spend the rest of their lives with, so they would naturally watch for our leadership qualities, such as knowing what we want and how we plan to attain it. Many women don’t mind taking the initiative, but they would really want to know that they can count on us to step up when needed. They will undoubtedly stop loving us if we fail at this act
Toxicity stemming from too much negativity:
Despite the truth that our partners should naturally be our confidants and avail themselves to always be there for us, or at the very least provide listening ears to our worries. However, dumping our stress and negativity on our partner or anyone else every time they inquire about how we are doing is a surefire way to drive them away because too much negativity kills love.
Five (5) steps on how to stay top in the game and have our partner’s love:
keeping in mind that because of our varied upbringings and life experiences, we are all uniquely imperfect and struggle individually and collectively it is therefore difficult for us to be at the top of our game. The following nuggets can help us perform at our best and make sure that our partner always loves us:
- First off, you need to realize that, unless your partner is a therapist, he/she has a saturation limit. This limit applies to how much negative energy they can take, and this doesn’t necessarily make them bad or uncaring as a partner.
- Understand that respect is not about big gestures, but the reassuring validation of your recognition that your partner is your world. Note, how you make your partner feel is important for the needed balance of loving one another.
- Fundamentally, you can’t go wrong with giving in your relationship especially when your partner is deserving of such a gesture.
- Also, being overly dependent on your partner or demanding excessive attention can cause them to get overly familiar with your demands and unintentionally act inappropriately toward you. Remember, your partner’s love for you can not be as you would desire at all times, it could be more, less, or even depending on the times.
- Finally, if your partner is genuinely experiencing difficulties, perhaps having a bad day, or performing less than usual, this is an opportunity for you to be their ultimate hero. Therefore, do not throw it in their face by complaining about it; instead, do it with extra love and a smile on your face, and you are almost certain to win their complete love.