The foundation of a building is perhaps one of the most important parts of that structure because the foundation of any structure, including relationships, needs to be properly set to ensure the stability and durability of that relationship.
Now, if you are someone who recently fell in love or perhaps in a relationship and you want to make sure that your relationship stands the test of time, all you have to do to avoid mistakes is carefully expressed as you continue reading.
(12) Top Mistakes You Shouldn’t Make At The Beginning Of Your Relationship.
#1. Being a control freak.
Sometimes it can be cute to be bossy, but when you’re a control freak it can wear anybody out in the first place.
It is expected and assumed that you both have gone through a dating phase, at least to get to know each other to some extent.
The truth is, if you didn’t like what you saw at the time or dated, you shouldn’t have proceeded to get into a relationship at all. But since you’re in a relationship, it is expected that you do like the person and who the person is. So if you’re trying to change your partner and make them into another person, well, it may not be exactly pretty easy as there would be resistance and it’s going to come back fighting you at the end. The truth is,your partner is a unique individual and you must appreciate him/her.
#2. Pointing Out Every Flaw.
Your partner is a human being with flaws, and weaknesses so you should never expect perfection.
One of the greatest mistakes most people make in a relationship is to expect perfection from their significant other. Your partner will have flaws. At least, that’s what the dating period is for.
The dating phase is to get to know if you can handle the flaws that your partner is coming with, you cannot keep pointing out every flaw. You’re going to have to learn to overlook a few of them.
#3. Losing Romance After A While.
It’s easy to lose the romance and stop putting in the effort to date your partner every now and then. As much as you can still date your partner try to put effort into looking good for them. Don’t begin to take them for granted because you’ve gotten them where you need them, you’re dating now, and you feel like you don’t have to put in any extra work. A lot of people make this mistake and are always found wanting.
#4. Not Being Yourself.
Sometimes we’re likely to want to impress someone so much that will become a totally different person from ourselves. Don’t fall into that trap of being anyone else but yourself. Don’t lie about your hobbies or change your dressing style, or friends just to satisfy the person. Now, if the person doesn’t like the kind of person that you are right here, right now, then maybe they aren’t the right person for you. You’re only good for any relationship when you’re being yourself therefore don’t lose yourself just to satisfy another person. Let them see you for who you truly are, and only then will they begin to appreciate you truly.
#5. Lack of communication.
Communication is one of the main ingredients of a good relationship, once you lose communication, you might as well not be in that relationship. Some people indeed talk a lot without saying anything, now while there’s a place for idle talk, there’s also a need to have serious conversations where your feelings, issues of life, goals, dreams, expectations, likes, and dislikes become the matter of discussion so you can achieve them as a team that helps each other better and appreciate yourselves fully.
#6 Dishonesty and Keeping Secrets:
If you want your relationship to bloom, then you can’t afford to keep secrets or be dishonest. A relationship built on lies cannot stand, it’s as simple as that.
You have to be truthful to your partner and let them know every important detail that there is or that they need to know.
Failure to do so, it is only a matter of time before the relationship hits the rock because some ugly things can come up from your past and you might not be able to deal with it expressly then it becomes public news and you will be asked why didn’t you tell them or say anything about it in the first place. Now, relationship is thrown wide open with trust issues.
#7. Comparing Your Partner To Your Ex or Exes.
This is another mistake you need to definitely avoid doing. It’s like comparing your present look with your past, there are bound to be differences. It is therefore advisable you start your relationship with your current partner on a clean slate, making different and new memories with them.
If you however know you’re not over your ex, then perhaps you should wait to be over them before getting into another relationship.
One question you need to ask yourself is, ‘’If your ex was so great, why are you no longer with him/her?
#8. Being Too Clingy and Needy.
Now we know you love your partner, and that’s great, but you need to give them room to breathe.
Clinginess and being needy are never advisable in a relationship, it makes you feel or seem desperate, and possessive. The person will feel smothered and over time they will begin to distance themselves from you. People need room and space to sometimes be on their own or invest in other relationships that they care about, as well. You need to have a life outside these people that you date, have a life with friends, and family.
#9. Being Pessimistic
Some people enter relationships expecting them to fail. The mind is very powerful, and that’s why psychologists say that; you are what you think about.
You know you cannot start a relationship with a failed strategy.
You need to put your all into the relationship, expecting it to work but if it ends up not working, it won’t be because you didn’t do something or you didn’t give it your best shot.
Commit to your relationship, and stay positive and it most likely will bring back what you expect.
#10. Badmouthing Your Exes.
Now you might think your partner wants to hear it, but constantly bad-mouthing your ex doesn’t give you a good look, it ends up making you look less better.
There’s no point in dwelling on your ex and many people are simply really bad at moving on that sometimes they sound like a broken record as all they do is constantly compare.
#11. Being Nosy About Their Finances:
Now at a point in the relationship especially when you’re talking marriage, you should talk about finances and how it will play out in perhaps the home you both intend to build, etc. However, considering how new the relationship is when you’re constantly dwelling obsessively on their finances, it can come off as offensive and also make it seem like you have ulterior motives.
Now it’s OK to expect that your partner discloses their financial statement or finances when marriage talks get into gear but if you always try asking them about their finances, you might come across as a gold digger.
If they volunteered information on themselves or by themselves, that’s OK, but otherwise, it’s none of your business really.
#12. Ignoring The Red Flags.
A successful relationship is not only one that lasts forever sometimes a relationship can be considered equally successful when it is clear to you that you don’t want to be in a relationship with that person.
It is advised that you don’t ignore the red flags because you want a relationship to last. Pay attention to them for your own sake. The beginning of a relationship may not determine how the relationship will go or how well it will do.
Finally, pay attention to doing what you should do and avoid making mistakes that could destroy your relationship in the end. Sometimes we’re so in love that we even see these red flags from afar, we still decide to still jump in hoping that we can change them.