What we believe to be true is like the color of the sky: it may be valid, but merely a momentary façade that is dependant on our immediate level of understanding.
How do you become aware of emotional trauma in your relationship?
Being open to ideas and suggestions as we attempt to be as fluid as possible, is in gospel truth, one of the only few ways we can truly garner quality experience and this is made possible by our ability to willfully transcend ourselves in the service of others while keeping their worries as our top priority.
While you might wrestle with this moment of truth, being in a relationship of whatever sort is no different.
How do you unknowingly stop a troubled partner from opening up to you?
It’s only when we invalidate the experiences and ideas shared by our significant others do we successfully shut them from opening up to us. Often, we might wonder how they came to know or believe what they do, but we would be surprised at the many subliminal messages that have been conveyed to us by our partners that we have overtime ignored or failed to heed. Understanding requires patience and this is sorely lacking, especially among men.
How can you truly empathize with your partner?
We should make an effort to listen to understand and, if possible, soak in their concerns and offer heartfelt feedback without attempting to correct or project on their shared concerns with a seemingly personal experience of ours. True, misery likes company, it’s not about you; the focus should be on the shared experience, your first hand experience might be relevant but should be inconsequential at that time.
The truth is that because we are all made differently and have various experiences and ways of naturally handling things. This is because even though the shared experience might be similar, how we are built to handle adversity and the scenario in which this identical problem might arise may differ greatly. It’s noteworthy that many people in their respective relationship downplay their partner’s problems or concerns. Although, it might seem okay and noble to want to guide or empathize by sharing your experience with someone who is suffering a similar fate, especially if it comes from a place of love.
However, one should remember that any attempt that seems to indicate you are trying to display a more superior understanding of that particular experience because you have probably experienced it first hand can rightly be intepreted as being insensitive. Many of us often try to invalidate our partner’s truth or emotional trauma (something that occurs far too frequently in relationships), we discredit their concerns and experiences by displaying poor levels of understanding and a profound lack of empathy. This should be addressed!