When it comes to long distance relationships, everybody knows long-distance relationships are hard. Although, generally relationships are hard, as it is evident that when people are in one space, each one tilts to their independence, even when they’re madly in love. The Love Shadow would be providing some really good tips that could help keep your long-distance relationship thriving.
Now, long-distance relationships are hard if you’ve ever been in one, and anyone who’s ever been in one can attest to that. It’s not an easy space to be in. It’s not a pleasant feeling, but sometimes you find yourself in one. Many people don’t start out in a long-distance relationship, but circumstances may dictate that arrangement. There are other instances where people also find love online and it flourishes into something really beautiful, and both parties seem to be really adamant about keeping the relationship going.
What do you need to do to let long-distance relationships survive?
#1. Build Trust
To build trust you must be open and willing to work on the relationship daily. You must learn to be honest in your dealings and be as transparent as possible when it comes to the relationships around you, for instance; the relationships with your colleagues, the platonic relationships, etcetera.
You must learn to be honest and deal with them as transparently as you can. Remember you must be willing to draw boundaries with other people by effectively communicating your relationship status. Now the temptation to be overly friendly and maybe even familiar with the opposite may arise but you must be willing to take a firm stance for your relationship. To truly build trust, you must honor your commitments to your partner whenever you make them, without any excuses. Don’t suddenly and frequently change plans as such behavior can and will begin to sow seeds of mistrust and that’s not what you want to do as it may be too early and very harmful for your relationship.
#2. Pick up the phone.
It’s so important that in long-distance relationships you always try to stay connected. Talking on the phone, facetiming, WhatsApp, and whatever other social media apps you use are the best way to stay connected because so much can get lost in translation via texting only.
It can be easy to go through a busy day; by replying or relying on only texts without picking up the phone but don’t fall into that trap.
Always make time to have a personal conversation where you can hear one another’s voice, you know on the phone, or see one another’s face if you can through a video call.
One big sign of infidelity or a dying long-distance relationship is when one party suddenly seems to be unavailable or unable to pick up their phone as frequently as they did before, and for long periods as well.
If this has already started happening in your relationship, know that you’ve already started moving on a downward slope and your relationship has already started to decline.
A good phone habit to create though would be to talk in the morning maybe, and even at night. Doing a check-in during the mornings and in the evenings before going to bed is really important because that way, even though you aren’t physically together, you still feel like you’re part of each other’s days and that’s always a good thing.
#3. Find a way to hang out together while apart.
Many research shows that interdependent relationships are proven to be the healthiest form of relationships for marriage.
This simply means that you and your partner do things In Sync together while maintaining your own separate identities as individuals.
Now, because your long-distance circumstances are forcing you to do more things independently than you probably like to, it’s really important to identify ways to do things collectively even though you are apart.
These are a few examples; so presuming both of you like reading, you can both read the same book and talk about it or you could stream the same Netflix movie while talking on the phone, You could play online games together, You could listen to the same playlist on Spotify, any of these online listening apps, or even via the same streaming apps. All of these things will help you and your partner feel more interdependent and ultimately more connected. Kindly try it out cause You never know.
#4. Fusion
When the time is right, it’s important to create a long-term plan for merging your worlds.
Now, anyone who’s been in a long-distance relationship can attest that there is an underlying heartache being apart from the person that you love. If you’re in a relationship with the person you want to spend your life with, at some point you’ll need to craft a plan to join your worlds together to be together often this could involve a wedding, job change, or possible relocation.
It’s therefore important to be sure, make plans or at least consider the right next step at the right time as a couple.
The truth is, having the hope of being together long-term can help you write out the toughest days of being apart from one another cause this gesture can breed a little bit of hope that goes a long way towards making the one that you love seem not so far away.
Plus having an overall objective of a set time to be together, would give each party in the relationship purpose and satisfaction with a strong hope that the inconvenience and the torture will end.
Hope you’ll both be together and everybody will be happy.
#5. Make time for intimacy.
Now, this can be a really great way to keep the sparking lighted. It’s important to find a time that works best for both of you to engage in a romantic or intimate activities. Put time aside for romance, even when even though it’s virtual.
To keep the attraction alive, ensure that each party is on board with the idea or the activity so neither of you is left feeling exposed or devalued.
Also remember, we are in the era of revenge porn being a real threat to many people around the world, make sure that your partner is completely assured and protected for posterity’s sake.
#6. Focus on the positive aspects of long distance.
It’s important to note that It’s not all doom and gloom, as being separated from the person you’re madly in love with can actually be a positive thing.
Indeed, you can’t immediately change your circumstances, but you can immediately change your attitude, frustrating as it may seem, to be separated, try to think of a few ways your long-distance relationship is actually beneficial.
What do you, for instance, have more time for? Hobbies or working out, or spending time with friends and family? Make a list of the positive aspects of this long-distance relationship and focus on the positive feelings during the harder days when the distance is really getting to you.
Yes, it’s tough not having the person you truly love around, but all in good time, things will fall in place and you will both live happily ever after.
#7. Physical Meet-Ups
It’s important to see each other as much as possible. This might be difficult depending on the distance and it can feel hard, but it’s important that if you’re in different countries, for instance, you make it a point to see each other at least twice a year.
Each person can decide where and when it is possible to make a trip to visit the other in the country in which they live.
If you live in the same country but say different states or different cities, it should be a lot more frequent perhaps every quarter will be ideal.
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, as much as it can be tempting to plan fun-filled, exciting trips to see each other or meet one another in planned special or discreet places, it’s important, you make sure that as part of meetups that you also visit one another where you actually live or reside.
Having trips to see one another in the locations where you live is important so that each person can actually see how the day-to-day for the other person works. It helps a lot by putting things in perspective and finally on rare occasions where for instance, one partner is feeling disconnected or lonely, it can also turn out to be important especially when you plan to shuttle an emergency visit to see them.
#8. Check-in with each other’s feelings.
It is important to show care, concern and your willingness to be there through it all. Ask questions, including How can I support you?
What is it that you need most from me right now? How are you feeling?
These questions allow the person feeling disconnected to reflect and share what’s really at the heart of what they’re feeling and what they’re thinking.
For the person asking it, it shows care and gives them clarity on what is needed most from them.
Also, if something has changed within the relationship, it’s important to begin to question if you are both on the same page and have that hard conversation of whether it’s time, for instance, to let the relationship go or work harder towards making it work. It is important to ask what has changed and what is different.
Finally, trust your instinct and always attempt to surprise one another with gifts. When you aren’t together physically, it’s important to show your thoughtfulness in creative ways. If you know, for instance, you would love flowers, get flowers delivered to her. If you know she’s feeling under the weather, get food delivered to them as if you were there taking care of them. Here are a few tips for surviving a long-distance relationship, hopefully, it helps your relationship wax stronger, remember it really comes down to both of you if it’s going to work.